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The Aquarium

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Chris Miller
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6 ngày trước
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[{"comment":"I agree with Jonathan that it's very Nick Hornsby, and I thought you maneuvered the prompt deftly. Just super clever with great dialogue. Well done.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kevin-b\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/315b39a0fc19fb45d146c17b813d46c7acb0b872.png","author_name":"Kevin B"},{"comment":"Thanks very much, Kevin. Pleased you enjoyed it. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"Hi Chris!Oh my gosh, I could feel the awkward moments and I could absolutely identify with each interaction. I also really liked the way that you touched on so many points about a culture. Of course there is so much that goes around coffee or tea, and I chuckled a bit at the \u201cpronunciation trap\u201d bit since we have all been there. I was utterly relieved at the end of the piece when the opportunity to start over was presented. Congratulations on the shortlist!!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/amanda-lieser\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/cf681cfbf3c282528fea28596536f592630842e7.png","author_name":"Amanda Lieser"},{"comment":"Thank you ver much, Amanda. Very pleased you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to leave such a lovely comment. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"This is a great story. Your use of words really brought this story to life. And overall this was a very well written and interesting prompt. Congrats!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/avery-l\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/cf681cfbf3c282528fea28596536f592630842e7.png","author_name":"Avery L"},{"comment":"Thanks very much, Avery. Pleased you enjoyed it. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"Congrats. Fine work that holds interest.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/philip-ebuluofor\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/3ddbb55116373e04a0b9c15f93eb1706e4a87bee.png","author_name":"Philip Ebuluofor"},{"comment":"Thank you, Philip. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"Welcome","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/philip-ebuluofor\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/3ddbb55116373e04a0b9c15f93eb1706e4a87bee.png","author_name":"Philip Ebuluofor"},{"comment":"Great writing Chris!! Very funny stuff. Kind of had a Nick Hornby vibe at points. The dialogue was spot on for an awkward conversation that I think many of us have been on one or the other side of more than once. Really spot on. The internal dialogue and the protagonist's thoughts made it a very fast-moving and fun story. Great work and congrats!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jonathan-page\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2792537\/thumbnail_f2f48d44f760728d0c5aaba532bbf3b068c14409.jpg","author_name":"Jonathan Page"},{"comment":"Thank you very much, Jonathan. I have done decades of research on awkward conversations. Thanks for reading. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"Thank you very much, Jonathan. I have done decades of research on awkward conversations. Thanks for reading. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/audrey-knox\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2717123\/thumbnail_d12b99b1aabb817d99513af0548fbd30234d22fb.jpg","author_name":"Audrey Knox"},{"comment":"Thanks Audrey. I really appreciate the constructive feedback. I did have my own doubts about the ending. It's left in a place where we think 'it could happen!', but without really saying why. I think if I redrafted I might put in a bit of a story from Neive to show that she's a bit vulnerable too, and not actually as unobtainable as Eric might think, making their getting together more likely. Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave such considered feedback.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"I was happy for him when I thought "it could happen!" I agree that maybe lining up the reasons they might have potential would make it even stronger.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/audrey-knox\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2717123\/thumbnail_d12b99b1aabb817d99513af0548fbd30234d22fb.jpg","author_name":"Audrey Knox"},{"comment":"Loved all the little details that brought the story to life. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/robin-honigsberg\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2293113\/thumbnail_874be0c66bf3c93fce95054eb5b712ca7b849bbf.jpg","author_name":"Robin Honigsberg"},{"comment":"Thank you, Robin. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"I loved this story. Your use of words and phrasing perfectly showed awkwardness. I loved he was too shy to publicly announce he was an introvert. Your character was true to that awkwardness throughout. Amazing use of phrasing. Thanks for sharing.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/joan-wright\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/b5be123b68c565613550c04788a6c04f8dedb4e0.png","author_name":"Joan Wright"},{"comment":"Thank you very much, Joan. I am pleased that you enjoyed it. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"Charming and lovely and more than a little relatable (talking about the refreshing for yellow dots not the complete nervous socially awkwardness of the MC of course,no idea what that must be like \ud83d\ude44)A great and joyful tale Chris ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/derrick-m-domican\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2566755\/thumbnail_983972abc17d60193ea1febb8b982ac456426162.jpg","author_name":"Derrick M Domican"},{"comment":"Thank you Derrick. The exercise was 'show don't tell' but they usually say 'write what you know' too...Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave such encouraging comments. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"I think this is the first story of yours I've read. Thought it was lovely - so you might be able to thank me for the yellow dots going forward.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/stevie-burges\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1162313\/thumbnail_b7e4c8333b24cbde270d59b677fbb271092962c8.jpg","author_name":"Stevie Burges"},{"comment":"Thank you very much, Stevie. Pleased you enjoyed it. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"You had me cheering for Eric from start to finish, hoping his wilted fern wouldn\u2019t just up and die there on the table \ud83d\ude02 Great characters, and I just love the way you play with language and imagery. You have a gift with it. It never seems forced, just flows. Oh that little gold bell \ud83d\udd14!! I laughed at that one! (Refreshes page\u2026refreshes again\u2026) \ud83d\ude02","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/nina-h\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2721494\/thumbnail_d2311cfba60fcd1dc37e2da36b7ef2cdd0d1bc60.jpg","author_name":"Nina H"},{"comment":"Thank you so much, Nina. I hoped a few people would understand the problem of resisting that pull from the activity bell notification! Really pleased you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"You show an awkward but charming character who has a habit of delivering hit and miss chat up lines. However, good taste in music and authors prevail so maybe all is forgiven. I like it when the MC buffs up his glasses and is reminded of his NHS specs of his past. I can also relate to the mustard dot email addiction. I thought that was funny and accurate.I enjoyed your story and was glad Neive was wise enough to look beyond the surface.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/helen-a-smith\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2116734\/thumbnail_2f094db3ef787573fdf14b24d0ba13d085955cdd.jpg","author_name":"Helen A Smith"},{"comment":"Thank you, Helen. Yeah, the relatable bit about the dot was a cheap shot but hopefully it got a nod from a few readers. Really pleased you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"The mustard dot must light up the reward part of the brain \ud83e\udde0 ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/helen-a-smith\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2116734\/thumbnail_2f094db3ef787573fdf14b24d0ba13d085955cdd.jpg","author_name":"Helen A Smith"},{"comment":"Oh, he\u2019s adorkable! I\u2019m such a fan of your phrasing. \u00ab\u00a0grabbed his i-safety blanket\u00a9 and bothered it with his thumb, focussing on algorithm selected news\u00a0\u00bb is so real and so at home among so many other lovely ways of saying things. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/anne-shillingsburg\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2555965\/thumbnail_0555e072c0fdd60c25bdfd886245423b4cab9911.jpg","author_name":"Anne Shillingsburg"},{"comment":"Hi Anne. Thanks very much. I like 'Adorkable' and it definitely fits. I need to use 'dork' more. Thanks for reading. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"It was fun to read about the "mustard spot."I kind of got lost in the dialog, that piece where there is a page of back and forth between two characters. I don't see that much and I got interested to see if it worked, wondering if I might try it myself one day. If you see it in my writing, you'll know where it came from! Cheers! ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/joe-smallwood\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2528582\/thumbnail_275b51bfd65ce9cfdc23d4aca7506539ae237a1b.jpg","author_name":"Joe Smallwood"},{"comment":"Thank you, Joe. I like trying to write dialogue that works without much attribution or scaffolding. Hoping that it takes the reader into it. Thanks for reading.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"Thank you, Joe. I like trying to write dialogue that works without much attribution or scaffolding. Hoping that it takes the reader into it. Thanks for reading.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/michal-przywara\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1713834\/thumbnail_301012be3a0fec02410378b488b6176f8dfa6c62.jpg","author_name":"Micha\u0142 Przywara"},{"comment":"Thanks for reading, Michal. I didn't even think about the "plenty of fish" line, but that is a good idea. I will pretend that I meant it. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"Congratulations on the shortlist! ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/michal-przywara\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1713834\/thumbnail_301012be3a0fec02410378b488b6176f8dfa6c62.jpg","author_name":"Micha\u0142 Przywara"},{"comment":"Cheers, Michal!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"},{"comment":"Awkward score?Congrats on the shortlist.\ud83e\udd73\ud83c\udf89","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/mary-bendickson\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2406977\/thumbnail_9d140900216bbe13149833dafd263c47a6488424.jpg","author_name":"Mary Bendickson"},{"comment":"Off the charts.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chris-miller-b3a1a4\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/1060274bc90076809718cff9566db8eaab1abfb5.png","author_name":"Chris Miller"}]