THÔNG TIN TRUYỆN

my fellow passerine

Tác giả

Jay Wayne
Thể loại
Danh mục
Cập nhật

6 ngày trước
Số chương

1/??
Lượt xem

161
Đọc Truyện Đọc Chương Mới

Nội dung

[{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/hannah-barrett-eee7fb\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1585382\/thumbnail_04613ecc5f2ee5016318aa4bf51c14eb44f28557.jpg","author_name":"Hannah Barrett"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/hannah-barrett-eee7fb\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1585382\/thumbnail_04613ecc5f2ee5016318aa4bf51c14eb44f28557.jpg","author_name":"Hannah Barrett","comment":"And I guess my one (small) criticism is that I don't feel I needed "Il Ragno" or Bast's relationship to Corvid via that case. I think a thoughtful reader gets enough subtext through the dialogue, and without developing that part of the story further I'm not sure it adds anything. But that may come down to personal tastes. Again, well done!"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jay-wayne\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1281031\/thumbnail_6209b8b740eadbeba5aeb40f80806c1254138346.jpg","author_name":"Jay Wayne","comment":"And I guess my one (small) criticism is that I don't feel I needed "Il Ragno" or Bast's relationship to Corvid via that case. I think a thoughtful reader gets enough subtext through the dialogue, and without developing that part of the story further I'm not sure it adds anything. But that may come down to personal tastes. Again, well done!"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/hannah-barrett-eee7fb\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1585382\/thumbnail_04613ecc5f2ee5016318aa4bf51c14eb44f28557.jpg","author_name":"Hannah Barrett","comment":"Well I'll be damned. They are passerines. Mystery solved - thanks Jay and google! And thanks also for indulging me \ud83d\ude02"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/gini-swancy-715bcb\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1508107\/thumbnail_f65ad5c6e1e4261143475a10a15d5434bf07eb2c.jpg","author_name":"Gini Swancy","comment":"Well I'll be damned. They are passerines. Mystery solved - thanks Jay and google! And thanks also for indulging me \ud83d\ude02"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jay-wayne\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1281031\/thumbnail_6209b8b740eadbeba5aeb40f80806c1254138346.jpg","author_name":"Jay Wayne","comment":"Thank you for the critique! Now that you mention it, the flashbacks do seem a bit long. That's probably because I started writing those first and only later went back and made them flashbacks. Something for me to keep in mind going forward!I appreciate your kind words about my writing style. I was trying a few new things, and I'm glad they seemed to work overall.Thanks again for leaving a review!"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/an-awesome-author\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2713716\/thumbnail_40b6ba7993233a9e5ab18cf214bf9578e259421d.jpg","author_name":"An Awesome Author","comment":"Ugh this story is too cute not to be real. i love the elements you used in this story. It captivated my heart. I love the title too. I have to say i am usually a critic on regular stories and short stories but i really liked this ones, though i didn't understand the other character that was thrown in like II Ragno? Other than that i quite enjoyed this."},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jay-wayne\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1281031\/thumbnail_6209b8b740eadbeba5aeb40f80806c1254138346.jpg","author_name":"Jay Wayne","comment":"Thank you for your kind words! I have to confess, this story was a tiny slice of a longer story that I was writing at the time; I just tidied it up a bit so it worked as a stand-alone piece. That's why it might feel a little disjointed in parts haha"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/an-awesome-author\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2713716\/thumbnail_40b6ba7993233a9e5ab18cf214bf9578e259421d.jpg","author_name":"An Awesome Author","comment":"Either way this story is amazing and you truly put your heart into it! Keep it up, not many authors or writers write with their true soul. "},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kathy-olson\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1642582\/thumbnail_c616406aea53ddfc4080b52a03f5c4494abe2e5b.jpg","author_name":"Kathy Olson","comment":"Either way this story is amazing and you truly put your heart into it! Keep it up, not many authors or writers write with their true soul. "},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jay-wayne\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1281031\/thumbnail_6209b8b740eadbeba5aeb40f80806c1254138346.jpg","author_name":"Jay Wayne","comment":"Hello and welcome! I'm pretty new here, too.Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving such a heartfelt comment. I appreciate the feedback and it makes me so happy to hear other people connect with the ending.I hope to see you around, and good luck with your own creative endeavors!"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/sam-wilson\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1616092\/thumbnail_7379aa1474268edae66a786d07876cb51045a300.jpg","author_name":"Sam Wilson","comment":"Hello and welcome! I'm pretty new here, too.Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving such a heartfelt comment. I appreciate the feedback and it makes me so happy to hear other people connect with the ending.I hope to see you around, and good luck with your own creative endeavors!"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/ghost-boy-9ea156\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2575206\/thumbnail_021247ee5934ee802dbf548e9afda36dbdc51d70.jpg","author_name":"Ghost Boy","comment":"Just commenting to say the story was amazing, and to make the amount of comments 69"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jay-wayne\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1281031\/thumbnail_6209b8b740eadbeba5aeb40f80806c1254138346.jpg","author_name":"Jay Wayne","comment":"Haha, thank you so much! (Although now I've gone and ruined the number, oops)"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/mc-campbell-molly\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/507968\/thumbnail_8b753d7317a4336600aa4bbf931b720ea959e9ae.jpg","author_name":"McCampbell Molly","comment":"Loved this story."},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/mary-jo-fortes\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/255583\/thumbnail_eeb35d331bddcddfdbb0a6d16f64120bb01356fd.jpg","author_name":"Mary Jo Fortes","comment":"Oh, and I was confused by the title. Probably my own ignorance, but I couldn't make the leap."},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jay-wayne\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1281031\/thumbnail_6209b8b740eadbeba5aeb40f80806c1254138346.jpg","author_name":"Jay Wayne","comment":"It's pretty obscure, yeah. It's referring not only to Corvin (named after corvid birds) and Bast's emerging kinship with him, but also my (Jay, also named after corvid birds) personal connection to his character.But to be honest, mostly the title just kind of felt right, just like the character names in the story."},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/mary-jo-fortes\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/255583\/thumbnail_eeb35d331bddcddfdbb0a6d16f64120bb01356fd.jpg","author_name":"Mary Jo Fortes","comment":"Hello Jay, I started following you after reading this. I was entrenched in your story. I loved the way it unfolded, with all its nuances. You developed a tender, special relationship between Bast and Corvin and didn't attempt to "tidy" up the ending... there is some unknown, which I personally like. This could be fodder for a longer version or a book, your characters and story are so strong. Kudos!"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jay-wayne\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1281031\/thumbnail_6209b8b740eadbeba5aeb40f80806c1254138346.jpg","author_name":"Jay Wayne","comment":"Thank you for your kind words! I'm glad you liked the ending. I, too, am a sucker for "hopeful" endings - they leave so much to the imagination, but they also are a source of personal inspiration to me.I have also had the thought after finishing the story that I could probably write a book about these two... It doesn't help that Corvin and Bast took up residence in my brain and said, "We live here now." But who knows :)"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/mary-jo-fortes\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/255583\/thumbnail_eeb35d331bddcddfdbb0a6d16f64120bb01356fd.jpg","author_name":"Mary Jo Fortes","comment":"I am thrilled to hear that Corvin and Bast "took up up residence" in your brain! The best characters have a way of doing that, and staying put.Way to leave a great, untidy ending to your comment, as well. Will he ir won't he?\ud83e\udd14"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/daryna-tovkach\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1440544\/thumbnail_3462502119b56a0d583fc3f559589181825a9630.jpg","author_name":"Daryna Tovkach","comment":"I am absolutely in love with your writing. Subtext is everything. "},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jenny-k\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/70c94a757c2ae007ce99d35d3f02b9237082cf60.png","author_name":"Jenny K","comment":"I will admit I'm not the greatest when it comes to critiquing as I can't find anything I didn't like about this story. The beginning pulled me in with the description of making tea, and I really enjoyed how smooth the transitions between past and present were. I also really fell in love with these two from the get go. I could feel how close they were, how honest(?) and open they seem to be with each other. Very much enjoyed it. Thank you!"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/craig-westmore\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1529068\/thumbnail_7202d08eb80c4346ca4acce283aefc85bed6c5ad.jpg","author_name":"Craig Westmore","comment":"Jay, you've captured a very tender moment wonderfully. I enjoyed how you blended (or steeped?) the tradition of making the mountain tea and the background of his yiayia into the story. "},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jay-wayne\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1281031\/thumbnail_6209b8b740eadbeba5aeb40f80806c1254138346.jpg","author_name":"Jay Wayne","comment":"Thank you for your kind words! I appreciate the feedback."},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/melissa-van-rensburg\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2825916\/thumbnail_77d5ba4bacd26d918efa9b374b6d2010d53da021.jpg","author_name":"Melissa Van Rensburg","comment":"Beautiful story!"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/jazmire-davenport\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2635576\/thumbnail_fda1ff23981bebf95be362dcd729dd6c0f82d9aa.jpg","author_name":"Jazmire Davenport","comment":"i feel like it doesn't matter if ur not gay bi or anny of that u should still support them what happened if ur mom told u to get the fuck out what would u do or what happened if she kicked u out so pls be postive "},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/harry-ellstrom\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2576446\/thumbnail_36dbc5563c686a8944567658e43091087690c5a0.jpg","author_name":"Harry Ellstr\u00f6m","comment":"I aint reding allat"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chizuru-kuruki\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2552133\/thumbnail_1be10b68020a400da6abd03a18d103906b54e42d.jpg","author_name":"Chizuru Kuruki","comment":"I usually get bored of reading but not this one"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kaylee-baker-05a05c\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/315b39a0fc19fb45d146c17b813d46c7acb0b872.png","author_name":"Kaylee Baker","comment":"this story is good and I write stories as well "},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/anna-dumas\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2143179\/thumbnail_5b97dc2215c4cbf5c6bd4d92f5036065c8c145f5.jpg","author_name":"Anna Dumas","comment":"Awesome story its so detailed and heart felt you could feel how much effort time and consideration was put into it."},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/raluca-7f8b84\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/429976\/thumbnail_50651369498933fbf60130cb248ef537701fc6f1.jpg","author_name":"Raluca .","comment":"I was very confused when I saw "Corvin" used as a name like that, casually, thinking what it could mean. My hometown has a castle with this name and I wondered why you chose it. Lucky that the comments gave me an answer! Nice ending!"},{"author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/sarah-parker-89bb09\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1706743\/thumbnail_af06e2d6fa4cc8c5ac1b3fd4e8e5afa4258250f5.jpg","author_name":"Sarah Parker","comment":"Awesome story! I love the title."}]