THÔNG TIN TRUYỆN

Echelon

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Kris Hawkins
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6 ngày trước
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1/??
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91
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[{"comment":"This story drew me in with the imagery. I loved the strong use of sensory language. I also really enjoyed the echelon parallel between the whales and Katherine with her own mother. The appearance of the strange beings came as a complete shock to me. Very interesting twist. I wish I knew what was happening in the minds of the other tourists! ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/alysson-dotson\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2695995\/thumbnail_01780a6fc63399ce742bf5a390e484f9777eaaef.jpg","author_name":"Alysson Dotson"},{"comment":"Thank you for taking the time to read this \ud83d\ude0a! I agree with you on wishing there was more exploration of the experience of the tourists...I wanted to explore that aspect of the story, but given length\/time constraints I figured I should just hone Katherine's experience and let it imply toward the others'. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Definitely a wise choice! Congratulations on the win!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/alysson-dotson\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2695995\/thumbnail_01780a6fc63399ce742bf5a390e484f9777eaaef.jpg","author_name":"Alysson Dotson"},{"comment":"Loved all the ways echelon tied in: the whales, Katherine and her mom, the deer and even Melissa and her mom. The supernatural factor was a complete surprise! But in a good way. Well done!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/lindsay-flo\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2093406\/thumbnail_8b2fe12ffa94692b762ee1fce7c429c4b7a24795.jpg","author_name":"Lindsay Flo"},{"comment":"Yay! I wasn't sure how the supernatural bit would land. I did a lot of work to make it feel organic to the story, but I think something like *spoilers* non-human intelligences providing a spiritual experience is asking a lot of the reader no matter how well you stitch it in; so I'm glad it didn't push you away from the story. Thanks for your thoughts, and for reading \ud83d\ude0a","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Well done on the win \ud83d\udc33","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/karen-mcdermott\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/263111\/thumbnail_c0751f5de1d0e30ab3c2553e7ef657983e68139a.jpg","author_name":"Karen McDermott"},{"comment":"Thank you \ud83d\udc0b\ud83d\udc33","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Wow! Well written! Congrats on the win!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/marie-alueta\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/529459\/thumbnail_4318afb5382fc152e33dacc5e78583c291ca65e3.jpg","author_name":"Marie Alueta"},{"comment":"Thank you! \ud83d\ude0a much appreciated. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Well deserved win. \ud83d\udc4f Congrats. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/mary-bendickson\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2406977\/thumbnail_9d140900216bbe13149833dafd263c47a6488424.jpg","author_name":"Mary Bendickson"},{"comment":"Thank you \ud83d\ude4f\ud83c\udffb","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"You deserve all wins coming your way, great job \ud83d\udc4d\ud83d\udc4d","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/sophie-holmstrom-bd551e\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2751469\/thumbnail_538620441b930ab769cf3c63d616ee3887c28d9b.jpg","author_name":"Sophie Holmstrom"},{"comment":"Aw that's kind of you to say haha -- thank you so much! \ud83d\ude47\ud83c\udffb","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Very well written and quite moving!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/chuck-sears\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1019806\/thumbnail_867b9a00623e417b4844f0dffcffb808848bad58.jpg","author_name":"Chuck Sears"},{"comment":"Thanks Chuck! It's encouraging to know it had an effect on you \ud83d\ude4f\ud83c\udffb","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Well done, I could feel all the emotions you described: Good win! ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/l-j\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/e3dd1a0471d29cf15dc3b8dff3bd12e624c6b440.png","author_name":"L J"},{"comment":"Thank you \ud83d\ude0a ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"The tie between the echelons - the doe and her fawn, Katherine's mother even when her daughter is not near her - is just wow. Congrats on the win, and thanks for a story that made me want to hug my own mom! ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/sravya-lekha\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2716257\/thumbnail_b051e0921f01e82e7be2793e26f50add836561c9.jpg","author_name":"Sravya Lekha"},{"comment":"Ahhhh this comment made me smile really big \ud83d\ude01 -- I'm glad the story inspired you to show love toward your mom \ud83e\udec2","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Congrats on the win! I can't wait to read more from you! The use of sensory language was incredible! ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/arter-fake\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2605402\/thumbnail_a6e9306d6d682233d572f5d554156413ef641dff.jpg","author_name":"Arter Fake"},{"comment":"Thank you so much! \ud83d\ude0a","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Congratualtions on your win!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kg-green\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2392113\/thumbnail_69be321e3dc74bf8c59624066e275ee71df67567.jpg","author_name":"KG Green"},{"comment":"Thank you!! \ud83d\ude0a","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Congrats on your win! Beautiful story \ud83d\ude01","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/nina-h\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2721494\/thumbnail_d2311cfba60fcd1dc37e2da36b7ef2cdd0d1bc60.jpg","author_name":"Nina H"},{"comment":"Thank you \ud83d\ude01","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"I was already deep in the story when it took this fascinating left turn. Very well written, and it kept my attention to the last period. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/carla-ward-224109\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/699090\/thumbnail_867b9a00623e417b4844f0dffcffb808848bad58.jpg","author_name":"Carla Ward"},{"comment":"Thank you!! \ud83d\ude0a I've mentioned it elsewhere as well, but I'm glad the left turn drew you in as opposed to pushing you away -- I was really afraid the latter might happen when I submitted. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Such a beautiful story woven around the concept of 'the shared motherly instinct ensuring the child always survives'. Congratulations on the Win!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/wally-schmidt\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2197990\/thumbnail_25078a88fc6eac69aeb4facbfbd2f9032f93426f.jpg","author_name":"Wally Schmidt"},{"comment":"Thank you \ud83d\ude0a","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Super interesting. I really enjoyed reading your story. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/courtney-treadaway\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/602003\/thumbnail_867b9a00623e417b4844f0dffcffb808848bad58.jpg","author_name":"Courtney Treadaway"},{"comment":"Thank you \ud83d\ude0a I'm glad you enjoyed it!!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Thank you \ud83d\ude0a I'm glad you enjoyed it!!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/j-d-lair\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/578738\/thumbnail_19a11cf4939bb73291e313ac80ca66e3b0efb131.jpg","author_name":"J. D. Lair"},{"comment":"Congrats on the win! \ud83d\ude01","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/j-d-lair\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/578738\/thumbnail_19a11cf4939bb73291e313ac80ca66e3b0efb131.jpg","author_name":"J. D. Lair"},{"comment":"Thank you J.D.!! I did research for this one. Once I realized Katherine was a cetologist, I was like, "well, I guess it's time to learn about whales" and ended up going down a rabbit hole that I really enjoyed haha. But I'm glad the info here felt like it belonged to the story -- I really wanted that section to characterize Katherine, especially in contrast to her mother in terms of the way they understand what it is to care for people\/things. ","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/kris-hawkins\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/1757928\/thumbnail_306fed02d7fedf75ff7c9eab6e568c33c415bb54.jpg","author_name":"Kris Hawkins"},{"comment":"Well, you did a mighty fine job! Congrats again. Research has always been an Achilles heel of mine lol, but it has proven to pay off.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/j-d-lair\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/578738\/thumbnail_19a11cf4939bb73291e313ac80ca66e3b0efb131.jpg","author_name":"J. D. Lair"},{"comment":"Incredibly well done, and a well-deserved win.","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/sjan-evardsson\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/135393\/thumbnail_a314793556d03317c0726ebcc646cb6d947cd859.jpg","author_name":"Sjan Evardsson"},{"comment":"Strange and shocking, informative and fantastic. I reeled around with this one. Thanks!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/luca-king-greek\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2523160\/thumbnail_fff1122ebac27b1ebd640c7d34688f42f3332ee3.jpg","author_name":"Luca King Greek"},{"comment":"I can see why the judges crowned this as champion. Congrats! For me, it was the character work that stood out. I was on the verge of falling for Katherine when she announced that she didn't like men. Oh well, there are other fish in the sea...Cetaceans, too!","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/zack-herman\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/avatar\/default\/699a76197db34da04d20e50efcbebff22a48baa8.png","author_name":"Zack Herman"},{"comment":"I applaud your descriptiveness, you laid on the emotions through the text like a bread knife on jam. You drew me in and gave me a feeling of warmth that excellent fiction produces. Congrats on the win","author_url":"https:\/\/blog.reedsy.com\/creative-writing-prompts\/author\/temitope-ajao\/","author_avatar":"https:\/\/images-cdn.reedsy.com\/auth\/avatar\/2437456\/thumbnail_f85fdd8f5a2f4663e8a30d02b0b518f378674747.jpg","author_name":"Temitope Ajao"}]